I have been taking part in some discussions on the internet in what is generally known as the ‘manosphere’.
This is a loose grouping of sites that include the men’s rights movement, pick-up artists and game, and complementarian marriage.
There is a subgrouping within this which contains the blogs and discussions of Christian men, for example Dalrock (http://dalrock.wordpress.com), Empathologicalism (http://empathological.wordpress.com/), Dark Brightness (http://pukeko.net.nz/blog/) and some women who support complementarian marriage like Sunshine Mary (http://sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/) and the ladies at Traditional Christianity (https://traditionalchristianity.wordpress.com/)
There are some within this group who self-identify as Christian but whose language on the web leaves something to be desired. Much of the argument is over the topic of divorce in the US where no fault is declared, and the parties simply split up the increase in the value of their joint assets over the period that they have been married. Now around 2/3 of all divorces in the USA are initiated by the (ex-)wife and there appears to be, even in Church circles a view that men should jump though any and every hoop that their wife places in their way while I wife should expect to be treated to a feeling of being excited by her husband at all times, and if he doesn’t make her feel loved, then he is at fault and deserves any and everything she throws at him in the divorce.
Coupled with this is a view that divorced women, who usually get custody of the children are supported by the church while divorced men are shunned, irrespective of whether there is a biblical reason for the divorce or not.
In the past, I came close enough to the abyss that is divorce to look over the edge, and I am thankful that God gave both my wife and me the courage to work through our difficulties and to start resolving them. We will not finish resolving our issues until we are face to face with God. But one of the things we have found out is that once we have said something to the other we cannot take it back or have a “do over”.
I am concerned that some of the people who self identify as Christian are really not only seriously rude to each other but are expressing sentiments that I am not sure are the outworking of the Holy Spirit in their lives. We have a responsibility to teach the truth in love, not to use such a hectoring tone that we have the other person upset.
I have differences with the theology of several of the posters, and differences with the way they see the application of theology, but that does not entitle me to behave like an upset adolescent who has just learned a few new curses. So folks, if you are reading this, please remember that the way you behave can be taking the Lord’s name in vain, because, if you call yourself Christian, you bear His name.
UK Fred 
No one will ever truly serve God by sinning, will they?
A long while ago not long after turning 40, I was talking with a group of friends who were discussing “the road not taken” sort of thing. I had just begun feeling sorry for myself about various things I’d never tried or experienced. We were comparing adventures, goals or just mundane events, and I said I’d always wished I’d been arrested for something and had that proverbial “one phone call from jail” (not for anything really big — maybe for throwing a rock through a window or for a political protest) … or I wished I’d have smoked pot and gotten high just one time when I was in college … or that I’d ever had a “fling” before resigning myself to spinsterhood. Our pastor was nearby, and he came over and said to us, “Don’t ever wish sin were in your life. No matter how minor it would seem to be, the end would not be good. Eve and Adam wanted to have the knowledge of good and evil, and look where it got them, and us. Some things aren’t worth knowing.”
Great response from your pastor. 🙂
Your pastor advised well.
I think many Christians fall into the trap of sin, sexual or otherwise, by wanting to “try” or “experience” that part of life a little, as being good, they feel they’ve “missed out” on some things.
It far too often brings tragic or unwanted consequences and fills the believer with heavy guilt and remorse.
If one’s a virgin, best to remain that way or chaste, in case they’ve stumbled in the past, like many of us did.
Once one starts having sex, the lure is hard to resist.
I made some big mistakes last year in high school with a girl before becoming of faith the next year in college.
Trust me, I know the desire and that earlier activity is a big regret, but I get your point here.
The other problem, Jon, is that two wrongs just make the situation twice as bad as one. sometimes I wonder if some folks understand that the end is determined by the means, it never justifies the means.
Or three or four times as bad, sometimes….
This was a good article, Fred.
What a good post this is. So much to think about for me. Especially with regard to the last couple paragraphs, starting from the “do-over” sentence actually. I knew a Christian whose speech was so gracious, although more than that—measured—that he seemed nearly “perfect” and circumspect in his life and in his walk with God. I live in Mormon country, and Latter-day Saints are careful in that way too, not speaking rudely or unkindly toward people. But those two examples really point up the difference in communications of cyberspace. I play a popular videogame which has a high youth player base, and then after that come adults, men and women. Certain times of day (such as after school or early evening hours), the chat language contains cussing and insults that have been refined to the art of acronyms in order to save time and space for more than one invective in the same chat pane. Anonymity and zero accountability allow people to spew whatever they like. The company does have a built-in complaint system, but it is impossible to monitor every channel at every time of day with millions of player exchanges. There are some Christian groups in that game, and the way those players present themselves in open channels is always noticeable. They take pains to “pad” their statements or questions with gentle tags or extra words that give an overall positive tone to the easily-misunderstood terseness of internet language. One guild is called “Lion of Judah”. A player asked what “zone” in the game that lion was from, and I typed “It’s a real-world zone. It is a reference to Christ, another name for Christ.” There was a pause in an unexpected silence for a few seconds, and then something accidentally humorous came back—a coarse compliment from the rabble. It was like “a-b-c!? COOL”.
Fred, please pardon me for another entry here (and if my posts are too frequent or too lengthy, you can signal with with TFTL! perhaps? haha, there’s a new acronym for ya) — but I wish I could ask you — I looked up “complementarian marriage” and upon reading about it, I recognized that most of my friends subscribe to it, I’d just never heard the term. But — my question is (sincerely) — why is this topic of so much interest to you? A lot of your posts seem to be about wives and husbands, submission and gender roles. Why is this so important to you? I ask this out of true curiosity, no sarcasm intended.
I’ve replied via e-mail.